Even if you’ve kept your three sisters, four cousins and all seven of your best friends company at the altar, you might want to take a step back and reconsider having a huge bridal party. Whether that means nixing the concept altogether or just sticking with immediate fam, here’s the argument against forming a 14-person taffeta posse.
There will be less stress, guaranteed
As chill as you and your squad may be, scientific studies have found that zero percent of wedding parties maintain the “no drama” policy. Seriously—when you cherry-pick friends, assign tasks and force disparate minds to decision-make together, people are bound to bump heads. Want to avert radioactive email threads on whether the bachelorette party should be kept local or exported to Ibiza? Nix the maids.
You’ll avoid hurting people’s feelings
Hey, there’s no shame in being popular, but things get tense when you cast a hierarchy of friends—where the lowest rung of the ladder happens to be not being asked to be a bridesmaid at all. Sad face.
You won’t lose sleep wondering if they secretly hate the dress
What exactly did Olivia mean when she told Lydia who told Amber who told you that the color of the dress was “interesting”? Yep, if you have bridesmaids, at least one is gonna hate the dress you picked for them. (And don’t kid yourself: No one is ever going to wear it again—it’s basically a law of the universe.)
You’ll save money on things you didn’t even think about
That feeling when you ask 20 of your BFFS to be your maids and then you realize that means 20 bouquets, 20 meals at rehearsal dinner and 20 gifts (yep, your girls will be expecting something on the day of your wedding)? Yeah, that’s an…interesting feeling.
And you’ll save your friends money, too
Saying “yes” to being a bridesmaid costs cold, hard cash. From the dress to the hair and makeup to the bachelorette party and all the penis decor Party City has to offer, things add up. The greatest gift a woman can give her friend is not threatening her with social suicide if she doesn’t spend $2,500 on your wedding and its satellite events.
They won’t feel like they have to “work” during your wedding
Of course you need help with things like making sure your train is bustled correctly, or that the cake is served or that your Aunt Linda doesn’t make contact with a microphone. But take away the whole obligation aspect, and suddenly your friends feel honored and happy to lend a hand. Which is great, because someone really does need to keep an eye on Aunt Linda.
Getting ready will feel more intimate
Day-of, you have no idea how you’ll feel—nervous, excited, ready to throw up or all of the above. So the added chaos (aka your three best camp friends) might not be the best setting for you to get ready. If you keep it to just you and, say, your mom and siblings, you’ll not only feel more relaxed, but it might be nice to share this special day with a close-knit group of people.
Your family is probably enough to deal with
Speaking of your mom and siblings, they might already be enough to handle. If that’s the case, why add more fuel to the fire?
Bridesmaids or not, your best friends are your best friends
Just because you’re not requiring them to wear the same dress at your wedding doesn’t mean you can’t ask your best childhood friend to help your sister plan your bachelorette, or that the friend you met in that poetry seminar can’t do a lovely reading during the ceremony, or that your ride-or-die can’t help you pee while you’re in your wedding dress.
You won’t have to return the favour
No drama. No $300 bridesmaid dress you won’t wear again. No using all your miles on Ibiza. Sweet relief.